Is it my fault?...... probably!

I have just made a shocking discovery, someone close has as many emotional 'hang-ups' as I have.  Do I feel guilty about it!?!?!?!? Shit yes! of course I do! It's not until you're older you realise how your own emotionally charged upbringing affected the way you treated your own children.  You try to be a 'good' parent but without realising it the past gets repeated.  There have been some fantastic highs, some lows,one, a really low point (which thankfully never came to it's ultimate conclusion, thanks to a timely phone call for which I am eternally grateful! and hopefully it will never occur again)  Having come from a background where 'love of family' was never really shown, anger being the main expression of emotion, holding in emotions becomes second nature and causes a lot of inner pain, anguish AND guilt.  I have made decisions in the recent past, which, to others may have seemed easy and selfish.  They were neither easy or selfish, there was a lot of deep soul searching and thought before the result was concluded.  There are times when I regret making those decisions but also times I'm very happy I did!  I sometimes wish I was emotionally more self-confident, wishing to tell those I love dearly how much I love and miss them and how proud I am of them. If I was I'd probably be able to tell them instead of not being able 'to find the right time' or 'the right words'.  I suppose really any time is 'the right time' and 'I love you, miss you and am proud of you' is the only way to say it!......................................... SHIT!!!!! I need professional help!! SERIOUSLY!! TOO MUCH BURIED CRAP EATING AWAY MY LIFE!!